Don't make me the blame for Design-L.V2 being in jeopardy. I'm being as honest and open as possible.
Steve, you are right in that this situation is
not a result of your decision making- it is in-
stead a result of mine, i made a decision because
it is very difficult for me to juggle everything
and i asked for some help, after you challenged
my integrity about running the list. you gladly
helped out and yet it was not a wise decision
because i did not consider the problem that
may arise as a result - which is my fault as
it was my decision to do this. it is a result
of all the people i asked for help earlier who
have done nothing except rely on things being
taken care of by myself and Anand, in good
faith i should add. and being at my threshold
with basic sustenance and trying to survive
in a very hostile situation, and do something
that is public, to contribute- that is why it
is worth doing. and why its being jeopardized
by how i chose to manage the situation does
put the blame squarely on my shoulders, as i
was not foreseeing the difficulties as i tend
to believe that people have a grip on how the
situations and can think beyond themselves as
to how to conduct themselves with respect to
others. i have tried to do with the you and
with the list and with Anand and it is failing
as a result of the choice i made to ask for a
little help, as sometimes burdens are heavy,
and it gave me a buffer to breath and think
a bit and gave me some hope and lessened the
burden so that it can be reapproached with a
renewed sense of purpose. now it is in real
jeopardy. i have changed my decision and it
was hard and not something i want to do yet
realistically it is the best and only option
given the givens. if you cannot respect my
need to make this decision in the name of
the list, to keep personal politics out of
list technical issues, i hope you consider
that it is a bad situation they are there,
a result of my choice - and yet it could be
okay if everyone would just swallow their
pride and give eachother the benefit of the
doubt that we're all working for the same
things, in our own way... and to sometimes
give people some slack, some room to breath,
so that they don't feel like they are being
attacked for just participating. the list
could withstand that, yet list management
cannot. deal with it. that's the facts.
please respect the situation. i apologize
for creating it. i have done everything i
can. please give me the benefit of the doubt
that i am not against you, this is not about
you, it is about the list. how it functions,
or dysfunctions, or even ends up dying now.
i made the mistake, an error in judgment.
i accept full responsiblity. be pissed at
me for my ignorance to not know everything
that would happen. be angry that i care
about the situation, about you, and Anand.
hate that we say things we do not like and
then say things we do like, and change our
views, because we learn from our ignorance.
disrespect the heartfelt and compassion to
try to resolve these issues without a blow-
out of emotional and psychological dimensions.
i've got better things to do than this, as
does everyone on the list. if we cannot
prioritize, humble ourselves, we don't
deserve this chance to share our lives.
share our views. share our beliefs. we
are on the same side, we have differences,
we are all list members, we need to respect
eachother. i am in a unique position as i
am a listmanager and the list janitor who
has to scrub the floors and paint the place
every few months. give me a break,please.
please understand, make changes, apologize
if you feel it is appropriate, at least try
to contain the situation and make peace.
if you can't, how can the world? try.
thanks. i can do no more. brian