The New York Times
February 12, 1995
Business, p. 15.
The Troubles With Money
When work is revered, what's the role of those who need
never work?
By Mary Rowland
Thayer Willis grew up wealthy in one of the most beautiful
neighborhoods in Portland, Ore. She was heiress to a
fortune built by her father and uncle, the Cheatham
brothers, who founded Georgia-Pacific, the giant lumber
company.
As idyllic as her childhood might sound, Ms. Willis is
quick to point out that great wealth created great problems
for her. Although few people sympathize with the rich
coming to terms with wealth is not necessarily easier than
comi,ng to terms with want, she said. Having spent years
resolving her own conflicts with money, she now works as a
therapist to the super-rich, helping them overcome
isolation, guilt and a lack of self-esteem, among other
obstacles.
Whether they have too little or too much, money creates
conflicts for most Americans, she says. It is the rare
person who uses money simply as a means of exchange. "There
is a tremendous emphasis on material wealth in this
country," Ms. Willis said. "When you travel a bit, you see
that money obsession is fairly unique to Western
civilization."
Ms. Willis, 46, says she would not have been able to build
a good marriage, find work she likes or start a family
without sorting out her feelings about money. "Coming to
peace with the role of money in your life is one of the
most important things most people have to do." she said.
The problems can manifest themselves in many forms. When
she was in her 20's, Ms. Willis developed bulimia and
anorexia, eating disorders little understood at the time.
She eventually found someone to treat her and then spent
two years as an apprentice so she could help others who
were afflicted.
In the ensuing years, Ms. Willis often reflected on what
became of her peers -- other rich children. "Even when I
was a child, there were a lot of suicides among the people
I grew up with," she said. "One kid shot himself, and a
girl died of anorexia. Some were described as accidents,
although we knew they really weren't."
A decade ago, the news of yet another suicide among that
grour propelled Ms. Willis to shift her therapeutic
practice from treating eating disorders to helping people
burdened by their wealth. She went back to school and got
a master's degree in clinical social work at Portland State
University. "I felt I could offer something to inheritors
because I'm open about the fact that I'm an inheritor and
they can identify with me," Ms. Willis said.
A couple of years ago she began offering seminars with Myra
Salzer, a financial planner in Boulder, Colo. Ms. Salzer's
company, Money Strategies Inc., provides a full range of
financial services to heirs. The seminars include advice
from Ms. Salzer's partner, Noel Bennett, a money manager,
and Walter M. Kingsbery, an estate planning lawyer in
Boulder.
To attend the seminar -- or be a client of Money Strategies
-- a person must have inherited so much money that he never
has to work or must have a spouse in that position.
Self-made millionaires need not apply because they have a
different financial archetype.
Ms. Salzer, who worked as a chemical engineer before
earning the designation of a certified financial planner a
dozen years ago, said the most pervasive problem among
heirs is low self-esteem. "In a society where we are
defined by work, their biggest fear is going to a party and
having someone ask: 'What do you do?' " Ms. Salzer said.
Ms. Willis, who has chosen to work, describes why: "One of
the fantasies of people who don't have wealth is that they
will inherit money and never have to work again. Then they
would spend the day sailing or playing tennis or doing
whatever they like. Most inheritors know that that makes
you feel terrible. You just feel useless."
Paid work can make a major contribution to a feeling of
self-worth. "I like the financial rewards of being paid,
and the money means a lot to me because I know that people
are willing to pay me for the work I do," Ms. Willis said.
Another problem for heirs is insulation and isolation. Like
others who inherit a great deal of money, Ms. Willis was
told not to discuss it. "My father taught me that people
will take your money if you're not careful," she said.
People who inherit money rarely handle the chores of
everyday life and often miss out on many opportunities to
build character as well. "No one walks happily and
willingly into the experiences that give us maturity," Ms.
Willis said. "Inheritors can avoid most of them
altogether."
Ms. Salzer says relationships may suffer when heirs do not
learn how to resolve conflicts. "If there's a problem with
the boss, they can quit," she said. "If they don't like the
landlord, they can buy the place."
Although she once longed to trade places with her clients,
Ms. Salzer said, "I never do anymore. Now I know I have
something that they don't have."
[Sidebar]
Starting With a Solid Foundation
What is the ideal way to pass wealth on to children? Warren
E. Buffett, the billionaire investor, says he will not
leave all his money to his children because he wants them
to find their own way.
"I see the wisdom in that way of thinking," said Thayer
Willis, who inherited a family fortune and spent many years
finding her own way. But she sees another choice for her
3-year-old daughter and the baby she is expecting in April.
She plans to begin an allowance for them at age 5 or 6,
teach them about investing when they are 11 or 12 and make
certain they know how to find meaningful work.
That solid foundation, and the time it takes to build it,
can make a great deal of difference when children finally
receive their inheritance, said Myra Salzer, a financial
planner in Boulder, Colo. who advises heirs. "If they
inherit $25 mil;ion at age 18, their entire purpose in life
becomes not to blow it," she said. "Whereas someone who
inherits at 35 or 40 has a chance to make some mistakes and
develop a career."
The other big decision is whether to give money outright or
to tie it up in a trust. Walter W. Kingsbery, an estate
lawyer in Boulder, argues for handing it over to children
with no strings at age 30. "Why leave them in limbo?" he
asks. "Once they're grown up, then let them sink or swim."
END
February 12, 1995
Business, p. 15.
The Troubles With Money
When work is revered, what's the role of those who need
never work?
By Mary Rowland
Thayer Willis grew up wealthy in one of the most beautiful
neighborhoods in Portland, Ore. She was heiress to a
fortune built by her father and uncle, the Cheatham
brothers, who founded Georgia-Pacific, the giant lumber
company.
As idyllic as her childhood might sound, Ms. Willis is
quick to point out that great wealth created great problems
for her. Although few people sympathize with the rich
coming to terms with wealth is not necessarily easier than
comi,ng to terms with want, she said. Having spent years
resolving her own conflicts with money, she now works as a
therapist to the super-rich, helping them overcome
isolation, guilt and a lack of self-esteem, among other
obstacles.
Whether they have too little or too much, money creates
conflicts for most Americans, she says. It is the rare
person who uses money simply as a means of exchange. "There
is a tremendous emphasis on material wealth in this
country," Ms. Willis said. "When you travel a bit, you see
that money obsession is fairly unique to Western
civilization."
Ms. Willis, 46, says she would not have been able to build
a good marriage, find work she likes or start a family
without sorting out her feelings about money. "Coming to
peace with the role of money in your life is one of the
most important things most people have to do." she said.
The problems can manifest themselves in many forms. When
she was in her 20's, Ms. Willis developed bulimia and
anorexia, eating disorders little understood at the time.
She eventually found someone to treat her and then spent
two years as an apprentice so she could help others who
were afflicted.
In the ensuing years, Ms. Willis often reflected on what
became of her peers -- other rich children. "Even when I
was a child, there were a lot of suicides among the people
I grew up with," she said. "One kid shot himself, and a
girl died of anorexia. Some were described as accidents,
although we knew they really weren't."
A decade ago, the news of yet another suicide among that
grour propelled Ms. Willis to shift her therapeutic
practice from treating eating disorders to helping people
burdened by their wealth. She went back to school and got
a master's degree in clinical social work at Portland State
University. "I felt I could offer something to inheritors
because I'm open about the fact that I'm an inheritor and
they can identify with me," Ms. Willis said.
A couple of years ago she began offering seminars with Myra
Salzer, a financial planner in Boulder, Colo. Ms. Salzer's
company, Money Strategies Inc., provides a full range of
financial services to heirs. The seminars include advice
from Ms. Salzer's partner, Noel Bennett, a money manager,
and Walter M. Kingsbery, an estate planning lawyer in
Boulder.
To attend the seminar -- or be a client of Money Strategies
-- a person must have inherited so much money that he never
has to work or must have a spouse in that position.
Self-made millionaires need not apply because they have a
different financial archetype.
Ms. Salzer, who worked as a chemical engineer before
earning the designation of a certified financial planner a
dozen years ago, said the most pervasive problem among
heirs is low self-esteem. "In a society where we are
defined by work, their biggest fear is going to a party and
having someone ask: 'What do you do?' " Ms. Salzer said.
Ms. Willis, who has chosen to work, describes why: "One of
the fantasies of people who don't have wealth is that they
will inherit money and never have to work again. Then they
would spend the day sailing or playing tennis or doing
whatever they like. Most inheritors know that that makes
you feel terrible. You just feel useless."
Paid work can make a major contribution to a feeling of
self-worth. "I like the financial rewards of being paid,
and the money means a lot to me because I know that people
are willing to pay me for the work I do," Ms. Willis said.
Another problem for heirs is insulation and isolation. Like
others who inherit a great deal of money, Ms. Willis was
told not to discuss it. "My father taught me that people
will take your money if you're not careful," she said.
People who inherit money rarely handle the chores of
everyday life and often miss out on many opportunities to
build character as well. "No one walks happily and
willingly into the experiences that give us maturity," Ms.
Willis said. "Inheritors can avoid most of them
altogether."
Ms. Salzer says relationships may suffer when heirs do not
learn how to resolve conflicts. "If there's a problem with
the boss, they can quit," she said. "If they don't like the
landlord, they can buy the place."
Although she once longed to trade places with her clients,
Ms. Salzer said, "I never do anymore. Now I know I have
something that they don't have."
[Sidebar]
Starting With a Solid Foundation
What is the ideal way to pass wealth on to children? Warren
E. Buffett, the billionaire investor, says he will not
leave all his money to his children because he wants them
to find their own way.
"I see the wisdom in that way of thinking," said Thayer
Willis, who inherited a family fortune and spent many years
finding her own way. But she sees another choice for her
3-year-old daughter and the baby she is expecting in April.
She plans to begin an allowance for them at age 5 or 6,
teach them about investing when they are 11 or 12 and make
certain they know how to find meaningful work.
That solid foundation, and the time it takes to build it,
can make a great deal of difference when children finally
receive their inheritance, said Myra Salzer, a financial
planner in Boulder, Colo. who advises heirs. "If they
inherit $25 mil;ion at age 18, their entire purpose in life
becomes not to blow it," she said. "Whereas someone who
inherits at 35 or 40 has a chance to make some mistakes and
develop a career."
The other big decision is whether to give money outright or
to tie it up in a trust. Walter W. Kingsbery, an estate
lawyer in Boulder, argues for handing it over to children
with no strings at age 30. "Why leave them in limbo?" he
asks. "Once they're grown up, then let them sink or swim."
END