Sorry to violate the recommended length, but this cracked me up.
[original source unknown]
(LA, California) Mattel announces their new line of Barbie products, the
"Hacker Barbie." These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of
thesedolls is to revert the stereotype that women are numerophobic,
computer-illiterate, and academically challenged.
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#63 10-FEB-1995 16:56:14.75 MAIL
This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very own
xterminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell" series.
The Barbie is robed in a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of worn-out jeans
with Casio all-purpose watches and thick glasses that can set ants on fire.
Pocket protectors and HP calculators optional. The new Barbie has the
incredible ability to stare at the screen without blinking her eyes and to
go without eating or drinking for 12 hours straight. Her vocabulary mainly
consists of technical terms such as "IP address," "TCP/IP," "kernel,"
"NP-complete," and "Alpha AXP's."
"We are very excited about this product," said John Olson, Marketing
Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the dae
incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." A year ago, Mattel released Barbie
dolls that say,"Math is hard," with condescending companions Ken.
The Hacker Barbie's Ken is an incompetent consultant who frequently
asks Barbie for help.
The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of Barbie
Press RETURN for more...
MAIL>
#63 10-FEB-1995 16:56:14.75 MAIL
dolls. Naomi Wuuf says, "I believe that these new dolls will finally
terminate the notion that women are inherently inferior when it comes to
mathematics and the sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical
superiority would simply reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses."
Mattel made no comment.
Parents, however, are worried that they would become technologically behind
by comparison to the children when the Hacker Barbie comes out.
"My daughter Jenny plays with the prototype Hacker Barbie over yonder for
two days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of Oxford, Mississippi, "and as y'all
know, she now pays my credit card bill. Ain't got no idea how she duz it,
but she surely duz it. I jus don't wanna be looked upon as a dumb mama."
Mattel will be offering free training courses for those who purchase the
Hacker Barbie.
The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the
complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach computer
ethics to youngsters, while "BARB1E R1TES L1KE BIFF!!!" will serve as an
introduction to expository writing.
[original source unknown]
(LA, California) Mattel announces their new line of Barbie products, the
"Hacker Barbie." These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of
thesedolls is to revert the stereotype that women are numerophobic,
computer-illiterate, and academically challenged.
Press RETURN for more...
MAIL>
#63 10-FEB-1995 16:56:14.75 MAIL
This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very own
xterminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell" series.
The Barbie is robed in a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of worn-out jeans
with Casio all-purpose watches and thick glasses that can set ants on fire.
Pocket protectors and HP calculators optional. The new Barbie has the
incredible ability to stare at the screen without blinking her eyes and to
go without eating or drinking for 12 hours straight. Her vocabulary mainly
consists of technical terms such as "IP address," "TCP/IP," "kernel,"
"NP-complete," and "Alpha AXP's."
"We are very excited about this product," said John Olson, Marketing
Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the dae
incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." A year ago, Mattel released Barbie
dolls that say,"Math is hard," with condescending companions Ken.
The Hacker Barbie's Ken is an incompetent consultant who frequently
asks Barbie for help.
The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of Barbie
Press RETURN for more...
MAIL>
#63 10-FEB-1995 16:56:14.75 MAIL
dolls. Naomi Wuuf says, "I believe that these new dolls will finally
terminate the notion that women are inherently inferior when it comes to
mathematics and the sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical
superiority would simply reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses."
Mattel made no comment.
Parents, however, are worried that they would become technologically behind
by comparison to the children when the Hacker Barbie comes out.
"My daughter Jenny plays with the prototype Hacker Barbie over yonder for
two days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of Oxford, Mississippi, "and as y'all
know, she now pays my credit card bill. Ain't got no idea how she duz it,
but she surely duz it. I jus don't wanna be looked upon as a dumb mama."
Mattel will be offering free training courses for those who purchase the
Hacker Barbie.
The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the
complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach computer
ethics to youngsters, while "BARB1E R1TES L1KE BIFF!!!" will serve as an
introduction to expository writing.